Nobody Likes the Wu
by Lady Aurora Nocturne
Summary: Drabble. The party debates which monster they hate the most.


**Nobody likes the Wu**

"What do you think is the most hated monster in Ivalice?" Vaan queried as Penelo got the campfire started. They were camping on the Ozone Plain just outside the Henne Mines. Tomorrow they'd go inside to seek out Fran's little sister, Mjrn, and take her home to Eruyt Village. Hopefully that would persuade Jote, the Viera elder, to allow the party to pass through those barriers in the Golmore Jungle to reach Mt. Bur Omisace.

Where did he come up with these questions? Vaan posed a different weird question about Ivalice to start a dinner conversation every night. This was one of his better ones, Penelo supposed. She pondered for a minute before answering.

"Ugh, Malboros, hands down. Flans are a close second though. I hate skeletons too." The girl shivered, remembering her solo flight from the depths of the Lhusu Mines. Memories of old bones magically rising from the cart tracks to cobble themselves into monsters that chased her through those dark tunnels still haunted her nightmares.

"I hate to break it to you, but there are plenty of skeletal enemies where we're going." Balthier interjected. "There was a big battle in the Paramina Rift in ancient times, and the fallen warriors of both sides still roam the area as dark skeletons." He'd been putting off telling the girl, knowing her aversion to undead enemies. At this point, he thought it would be better to go ahead and tell her so that she wouldn't be stunned the first time one clambered out from under the snow in the Rift.

"Just my luck." Penelo grumbled as she cast a weak water spell to fill the stewpot. It was Basch's turn to prepare dinner tonight. He intended to give the princess a rudimentary cooking lesson, which should prove amusing for the other party members. Ashe and cooking sounded like a mismatch.

The lesson was not off to a good start. Ashe refused to help Basch butcher the Ozmone Hares they were using for stew meat on account that she had a pet rabbit as a child and couldn't stomach butchering a "bunny." She had no such qualms about eating the finished product. Basch skinned said hares with his Gladius while Ashe prepared the vegetables and herbs.

"Have you ever seen a Hecteyes?" Larsa asked as he added a bundle of brush he'd gathered for kindling to what little wood they could find for the fire. Sticks were in short supply on the Ozmone Plain, so they had to use dry grass and brush for fires more often than not.

"Can't say I have." Vaan replied. "What is it?"

"It's a type of Flan with way too many eyes. They use them in the Draklor Laboratory for research purposes. Vayne took me to see them once when I was little and they gave me nightmares for weeks. They've been my least favorite monster since then."

"They are indeed a fiend most foul." Balthier agreed. "At least they are useful for laboratory testing. Many of the cures we have for status ailments were once tested on Hecteyes. You know that only two of those eyes are functional, don't you?" He asked Larsa. It was easy for Vaan and Penelo to forget that Balthier was from Archades, even with his accent, until this kind of topic arose. Larsa joining the party and talking about Archades had prompted the pirate to speak about his homeland occasionally. Penelo got the sense that there was a whole world of things they didn't know about Balthier.

The young prince nodded. "That's what Vayne told me. He said their sensitivity to movements in the air make it appear that they can see anything happening around them. It's impossible to sneak up on one, so for ages people believed they could see out of all of those eyes."

"What about you Fran? Which monster do you think is the worst?" Vaan asked. The Viera sat nearby on a boulder, oiling her favorite bow, as she did every night.

"I was once called on to help neutralize a threat in the Feywood while I still lived in the village. It was a great plant monster with prehensile tentacles. It emitted a disturbing odor that confused the senses."

"If you ask me, those Wu things around here are the worst." Ashe said, looking up from her task of mincing seasoning herbs. She'd been so quiet up until this point that the others had forgotten she was there.

"Why do you say that?" Larsa asked. He was surprised the future Queen of Dalmasca so despised what seemed an innocuous foe to him.

"They're ugly, smelly, and good for nothing. Even the other monsters hate them." She insisted.

She had a point, Vaan thought. "Yeah, the Enkelados Mark we fought awhile back wouldn't show its face until we cleared out all the Wu from its stomping grounds. We also didn't see many other monsters in the same areas of the Plain as the Wu. It's pretty bad to be a monster that all the other monsters hate."

"Do they hate the Wu, or are the other monsters scared of them?" Penelo asked. "One of the Garif told me the Wu eat those Panthers dumb enough to wander out of the Golmore Jungle, which is what makes the Wu's feathers blue. I'd be scared of them if I was a monster too."

Vaan wrinkled his nose "Ugh, remind me not to try Panther steak. If they like Panther meat so much, why don't the Wu live in the Jungle too?" he wondered.

"The Viera must do something to keep them out of the Wood." Larsa guessed.

Fran nodded. "The Woodwarders of Eruyt Village must often reinforce the enchantments which keep those revolting creatures out of the Wood. It is not unusual for a few to break through, and then the Woodwarders have to exterminate them to protect the Panther population." She informed them the day before about how the Golmore Viera traded Panther pelts for goods needed from the world outside the Wood.

"The Garif said that consuming Wu meat will make your skin turn blue and make you ill, so they don't use them for meat. The feathers are also too rank to be useful." Ashe added. "The loot you can harvest from the Wu isn't worth much, so it's hardly worth the Garifs' time to keep the population down."

"Most monsters have their uses." Basch said. "But the Wu appear to be an exception. I can only hope they don't overrun the Ozmone Plain with their numbers someday." The party's quest through the Ozmone Plain had done a number on the Wu population. The stupid creatures congregated around any source of strife in their vicinity. The party had to kill loads of them when they were mobbed by Wu en route to fight the Enkelados Mark. Without an occasional purge, the blue-feathered menaces may well take over the Ozmone Plain.

"Wu feathers were in fashion a few years back in Archades. Somebody invented a process to neutralize the smell, and for a while blue Wu feathers were all over the Capital. People didn't quit wearing them until a fashion magazine ran an exposé on the source of the feathers." Larsa said. He snickered. "Vayne even had a cape lined with them that he wore all the time that year. He looked ridiculous."

The whole party laughed at the idea of Vayne Solidor strutting around Archades decked out in Wu feathers.

"So, to summarize: the Viera hate the Wu, the Garif hate the Wu, and even other monsters hate the Wu." Vaan said.

"It would appear that they are universally despised." Balthier agreed.


End file.
